I have a symmetric data matrix $A$, giving co-occurrence of events. That is, $A_{ij}$ is the frequency of occurrence of $i,j$ together. The diagonal elements of $A$ are unknown/indeterminate.
I am interested in detecting pairs of events $i,j$ that preferentially occur together.
The problem is that some rows/columns of this matrix are significantly larger than other rows/columns. The naive approach of selecting pairs with large $A_{ij}$ then ends up selecting these rows/columns. Is there a way to normalize rows/columns without losing the symmetry of the matrix, so that the fine detail of the matrix becomes visible?